This is from today’s Al-Masry Al-Youm, not from the Onion:
Citizens who contract Bird Flu will be prosecuted for the charge of “raising birds,” warned the Suez Governor, who has referred all patients of bird flu in the city’s fever hospital to the prosecutor’s office, accusing them of “harming themselves and others.”
“If someone tries to commit suicide and is taken to hospital,” said Governor Muhammad Seif Eddin Galal said during a meeting by Higher Committee to Combat Bird Flu in Suez, “then legal measures are taken for his attempt to kill himself. Well, the same applies to those infected with Bird Flu. They harm themselves and others. The law must be applied. They’ll be either imprisoned or fined.”
As for infected children, the governor said that Child Protection Law will be applied, penalizing the child’s family and imprisoning the father from six months to three years.